Understanding ‘Sexless Marriage’ Since Long Time: Factors & Treatment

Unconsummated marriage (UCM) is a sensitive and often overlooked issue that can deeply impact relationships. It is a multifaceted problem influenced by various physical, mental, social, and cultural factors.

This blog post aims to provide an in-depth understanding of factors for sexless marriage for a prolonged period, exploring the potential treatments available, and highlighting the underlying issues related to low sex drive.

Understanding Unconsummated Marriage

Unconsummated marriage is defined as the failure to engage in sexual intercourse despite the desire to do so. It can result from a complex interplay of physical, psychological, and social factors, often leading to frustration, relationship strain, and emotional distress.

The inability to consummate the marriage can stem from factors such as anxiety, fear of pain, sexual dysfunction, or other underlying conditions.

Factors Contributing to UCM:

1. Physical Factors

According to a research study authored by Dr. Pramod Krishnappa suggests that sexual dysfunctions such as erectile dysfunction, vaginismus (involuntary muscle contraction in the vagina), premature ejaculation, and other physical issues can prevent intercourse.

Hormonal Imbalances like hypothyroidism or low testosterone can affect libido. Certain medications, such as antipsychotics like Risperdal, can lower sex drive. Chronic Illnesses like diabetes or cardiovascular diseases can impact sexual function.

2. Mental Factors

Mental health disorders like anxiety and depression can significantly reduce sexual desire and performance.

Emotional barriers such as fear of intimacy or past traumas can lead to a fear of closeness or physical intimacy. Further, the pressure to perform can create a mental block, preventing consummation i.e. performance anxiety.

3. Social Factors

Relationship Conflicts: Marital strife, lack of communication, and unresolved issues can create an emotional distance.

Stress and Fatigue: Everyday stressors, including work pressure and fatigue, can lead to decreased sexual interest.

4. Cultural Factors

Cultural pressures and societal expectations around sex can create unrealistic performance anxiety.

Also, a lack of sex education can contribute to problems in consummating a marriage. According to a study, inadequate understanding of sexual health and functioning contributes to problems in consummating a marriage.

Symptoms and Causes of Low Sex Drive in Unconsummated Marriages:

It is important to diagnose symptoms as women mostly are perceived as if she is willingly denying their husbands and thus could result in divorce cases.

• Persistent lack of interest in sexual activity
• Reduced frequency of sexual thoughts or fantasies
• Emotional distress related to lack of sexual desire
• Certain medications can lead to reduced sexual desire as a side effect.
• Medications affecting neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine often diminish sexual desire.
• Chronic fatigue, whether from work, parenting, or health issues, can severely impact sexual interest.
• Lifestyle changes, improved sleep, and managing stress can help rejuvenate sexual energy.

 

Can Menopause, Thyroid Problems Lower Sex Drive?

Hormonal changes during menopause, such as decreased estrogen levels, can lead to vaginal dryness and reduced libido. Treatments include hormone replacement therapy (HRT), lubricants, and vaginal estrogen creams.

Thyroid disorders, especially hypothyroidism, can lower libido due to hormonal imbalances.

Proper management of thyroid levels through medication can help restore sexual interest.

Is It Normal to Have No Sex Drive?

Temporary fluctuations in sex drive are normal, but persistent lack of desire can indicate underlying issues that need attention.

Effect of Sexless Life on Relationships or Marriage 

Low libido can strain relationships leading to feelings of rejection, frustration, or disconnect between partners. A continued lack of sexual intimacy can erode the emotional and physical bond in marriage. Professional counselling on sexless marriage, such as sex therapy, can provide solutions and strategies to re-ignite intimacy.

It is important to consider that UCM is a sensitive subject to discuss, hence open communication is necessary. Further, since UCM is not a gender-specific condition, seeking therapy together can help address these challenges.

Treatment Options for Unconsummated Marriage

 1.  Medical Treatments

Medication Adjustment: Consulting with a male sexual health doctor or female sexual health doctor to adjust or change medications that affect libido.

Hormone Therapy: For hormonal imbalances, hormone replacement or supplements may help restore sexual function.

2. Therapeutic Approaches

Sex Therapy: Guided sessions with a sex therapist can help couples explore their issues and work on intimacy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help address anxiety, depression, and other mental blocks impacting sex drive.

3. Lifestyle Changes

Stress Management: Incorporating stress-reducing activities like yoga, meditation, or exercise can boost libido.

Improving Communication: Open and honest communication between partners can resolve misunderstandings and build intimacy.

4. Surgical options 

Surgical options depend on the cause of UCM. If the unconsummation is due to curvature (bending) of the penis, then he will require surgical correction of the curvature. If erectile dysfunction is not responding to medications and counselling, then penile implant surgery could be offered. 

Conclusion

Unconsummated marriage is a complex, sensitive, and challenging issue that requires understanding and compassionate handling. Identifying and addressing the various factors, whether physical, mental, social, or cultural, can pave the way to overcoming this disorder.

 With the right support, open communication, and appropriate treatments, couples can work towards resolving unconsummated marriages and restoring intimacy in their relationship.

References:

The Journal of Sexual Medicine

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5656205/

Journal of Reproduction & Infertility